Humor me and imagine this with me.

April 30, 2013

Vorstellen. This is probably one of my favorite words in German. Why? Because it means to introduce yourself to someone and also to imagine. Imagination is a crazy ability. As children we are all gifted with it, but for some as we get older that capability becomes smaller and smaller. For me, I have been blessed with a groß Vorstellung.

Growing up I occasionally wished that I had an older sister to help me with my fashion sense, or to get cool hand-me downs. But in the end, I’m glad that I was the only girl. I could entertain myself for hours and days on end. Just my imagination and me. My imagination took all sorts of forms. I could spend hours playing house or school with my little brother. Occasionally I would let him join in my story with Barbie and Ken. He would bring his GI Joes, but that arrangement would only last a few hours as he would not play along “correctly” with the story.

See here’s how my imagination works (a little glimpse into the vast expanse I call a brain)… I would come up with a story, usually one that focused on a girl who surprisingly looked like me. Then I would spend my days playing with some sort of medium to carry out that story, whether it was with my dolls, dress-up clothes, or gel pens. And that story would continue to evolve in my every waking moment. I would daydream about this story, think about it when I was taking a shower, all the way to thinking about it before I fell asleep. With the amount of time and details that I would put into each story, I wish some could be turned into movies or books. Even when I did chores around the house, I would come up with a story. Some times I would be a modern Cinderella. Other times I would be the owner of a hotel.

However, this ability to imagine myself in a different life or situation didn’t die as I got older. I did see it start to change though. No longer could a story of Ken and Barbie entertain me for days on end. Instead I was imagining what life would look like if I lived in an exotic place…say Germany for example. However, I would imagine all of these elaborate stories and although most I knew never would come true, some of my stories were things that I wish would happen. Like how I wished someone would ask me to prom, or how I wanted a situation to work out with a friend. However, when life didn’t go as I imagined it, it was disappointing. I know that I should have known better, but my idyllic, fantasy mindset on life would overrule my rational thinking.

I know that because of my imagination I sometimes have an unrealistic view of life. I believe in the ideal and life doesn’t work like that. Even when I listen to certain songs, a little bit of me believes that my life could be like that.

Before I came to Germany, I made sure not to imagine anything about it, because I knew that I would be disappointed when what I imagined didn’t come true. Unlike Mountain Lake, I knew that I couldn’t go with an intention of falling in love with a prince or the equivalent. However, my experience here has been even better than what I could have imagined. Since I’ve been here, I have let my imagination run wild in some situations, especially since I had all day at my internship staring at a computer. What I have imagined has not come true, like usual, but what has come to be has been amazing. It’s not what I would have imagined for myself, but it has been an experience that was well worth living. 

Home...

April 9, 2013

Well hello there. It's been awhile since I've posted a blog. I've written a couple but haven't gotten around to posting them. They are now outdated with thoughts so they may never get posted. Instead this post is about home (and warning, it's a little sappy).

I've been in Germany for...I guess 3 months now. And living here started feeling like home about 3 weeks into my stay. As the halfway mark approaches it's amazing to think about all that has happened in 3 months time. I've been to four different countries, met friends from all over the world, ate some great food, and drank one too many beers.  Although most of my thoughts are distracted by how to order a Döner in German or what the right preposition is in the sentence, my thoughts occasionally turn to home.

I miss the hustle of being home with the constant cooking and everyone on different agendas. I miss cuddling on the couch with my dog as my parents fall asleep to BBC at 11:30 pm. I miss the opportunity to go next door to my friends and just sit on their beds while catching up on life. I miss having a “homework” party where more time is spent talking of the future then on the present. Or doing stupid, crazy shenanigans with my swim team family (which usually includes consuming tons of food).

I have met amazing people here in Germany, but none can compare to the solid foundation that I have back home. The people that have helped me become who I am and the friends who have stood by me while I was an awkward teenager to now as a…less awkward adult. It is my family, especially my parents and grandparent, that I can always count on no matter what. They are my backbone and I would not have been able to survive this long without them if it wasn’t for all of the love they sent with me. I know that wherever I go in this big, wide world there are people who are cheering me on no mater what, and, that my friends, is what life is all about. I couldn’t have done it without you guys, and can’t begin to thank you enough. Forever my love goes to you all!

From the words of the Downton Abby, “If you are homesick, there is no shame in it.  It means that you’ve come from a happy home. There are plenty of people here who would envy that!”